‘THE EVIL ALI BABA DID. …. It’s @alibabagcfr 50th
birthday so I guess anything goes. Alibaba is not one
to shy away from encouraging you. He always sees
the cup as half full. Many of the classic jokes that are
evergreen in the minds of average Nigerians are
alibabas creations. Some have been retold in a
shameless manner by less creative forces and
audiences still laugh. Some have been refurbished and
improved upon. But the source of these materials are
still alibaba. Now this is where ali baba did wrong.
Ali baba once told me a joke. He said check out this
material. I died of laughter. I had barely finished
when he said “you can have it”. I froze in shock.
“Bros make I take am””?” He nodded with assurance.
I arrived the next comedy gig with an air. I had an ace
up my sleeve. I was going to bomb this show with my
new joke. The audience will die with laughter and they
will be buried with memories of the joke and their
remembrance will feature my picture and my voice. In
loving memory of the joke that Bovi killed the
audience with. I had barely finished planning this
obituary when I heard the audience already dying
with laughter. The comedian on stage was saying
something I had heard before. Wait, he was saying
my joke. My new joke. Where did he hear me say it?
But I hadn’t said it before. It was only a few minutes
before I discovered the distress in the face of two
other comedians. I thought it was something else
until the comedian came off the stage leaving a trail
of blood from an audience murdered with laughter.
He was confronted by three of us with “oh boy why
you crack my joke”. “Which joke?” We chorused
again.. “The last joke”. He retorted “but na my joke:
bros Ali naim give me”. And a mild argument ensued.
I quietly withdrew and went to rework my set.
Phew!!!!! I was deflated. In no time I confronted
alibaba. He laughed so hard, I couldn’t figure what
was funny. But that was until he spoke. “Make Una
dey wait make I dey write give Una. Which one me go
come talk if I dash out all, one by one”.i got d
message clearly. If you don’t create your own
material, the audience will kill you. From that day till
today when alibabas offers a joke, I run. And he
laughs’
And that’s not all, he also took time to share another one.
‘OCT 30th, 2005…. Around 10pm; alibaba walked up
to me and said “you’re funny. You should do
standup comedy. You’re funnier than many of the
guys already out there. You even funny pass
*************” . Well, it wasn’t until 2008 I chose to
make the very bold move. 3 years later. In those
three years I had had trouble sleeping each night I
watched other comedians. And his words echoed
repeatedly in my head. The night he saw me, it was
at an arts exhibition. The mc was doing a bad job.
There was an interlude. But there was nothing to fill
the space. So I grabbed the mic, blood rushing to my
head and started to blurt out the few jokes I knew. It
was the first audience in lagos I had ever faced as a
standup comedian (save for a private party in
December 2004). The audience stared at me, either
out of pity or curiosity. But not out of interest. The
jokes were funny but I wasn’t. However the
bespectacled alibaba looked on with his hand to his
chin and a permanent smile. He was the only source
of encouragement in this firing squad. Soon it was
over and just as the event rounded off and guests
made their way outside, he walked up to me and
said those words I will never forget . “You’re
funny….” Happy 50th birthday to @alibabagcfr .’
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